FW: Legs Crossed

I don’t like buying jeans. It seems like every different brand of pants has a separate interpretation for what a particular size is. As it may be, I have pretty raggedy pants. There is one set of pants that fits. If you find a set of pants that actually fits it is pretty amazing. Because of their suitability and my dislike of jean-purchasing, these jeans are worn a lot. Now they have a hole in the crotch. I am ticked. It’s small enough now that I am still going to wear them. I’ll just keep my legs crossed.
I don’t know why I shared this. Now, if you read this blog, if ever you see me crossing my legs you’ll be wondering if I’m concealing wear and tear. I take it all back. I do not mind going jean shopping; I’m perfectly indifferent. All my jeans are in just fine condition, and I have a new pair for everyday of the month. The whole hole thing was hypothetical—it was a supposition posed to the reader, so that he or she will take into consideration the various seemingly inconsequential physiological processes that propound quintessential existential dilemmas for the modern man or woman, presented in a style mimicking the vernacular to generate a literary assertion correlating with the general populous. I do maintain, however, that there ought to be a standard women jean-sizing method for all brands.